January - changes ahead!

I’ll be honest - our first draft goal for 2019 was “slow down, say no.” We ended 2018 worn thin. Gotta do less, we thought. Take better care of ourselves. Shrink in a little. And then the pastor preached on Matthew 5; “blessed are the poor in spirit; You are the salt of the earth; you are the light of the world” Eugene Peterson’s commentary says: “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. . . . Here’s another way to put it. . . . Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By open up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father.” And as if that wasn’t enough, as I read the text of Matthew 5 on my phone in church, a text popped up on my screen from a single mom I met in rehab and hosted at my house shortly after. After that first visit, she told me by text that she is often too emotionally overwhelmed to get out of the house--her son, like ours, has significant limb differences. This time she texted, “let’s get together again soon!” Ok, ok. So. Seems like life isn’t going to slow down; we need deeper wells, bigger pools of wisdom and courage.

Here’s our new goal: (drum roll...) deepen our pools of prayer and wisdom. Rather than shrinking our life down to what we naïvely assume we can control, we allow that we weren’t in control of anything anyway (eye roll... I know..), and God is stretching us for his own glory. But bigger trees need bigger roots; a very deep taproot. As our life and ministry expand, we yearn for our cloud of witnesses and advisors to also expand.

With this growth in mind, we’re announcing some changes; we’re excited and nervous!

When we started this monthly newsletter, we had one small child, we could barely order at a restaurant in Japanese, and we both taught full time at Christian Academy. We wanted to reach out and stay connected, so we started sending this newsletter to . . . basically anyone we thought would like to stay connected. I know . . . we probably should have asked you first! Sorry about that.

Now, seven years later, our family has doubled in size and - largely thanks to our various local school communities - our horizons and vocabularies have opened to embrace not only CAJ classrooms, but also our neighborhood, our local churches, our parks, our hospitals, our city office and our city as a whole. In addition to teaching 100 or so CAJ students, we now also have friends and connections at every intersection in town. I can’t go to the grocery store, post office, flower shop, dentist, or park without meeting someone who knows us. Although I’m proud to say my Japanese level is the worst in my family (no way can I out-chat my daughter’s four year old preschool buddies or do my son’s second grade homework), as a family we can navigate our lives in Japanese: hospital, rehab, grocery, church, school, PTA, library, homework, pets. While the neighborhood watches. Life in a fishbowl, anyone?

So, here’s the vision: there’s this gorgeous tapestry of grace all over this green globe. The threads are silky thin, iron strong, the pattern so beautiful takes your breath away. Through this tapestry, I am privileged to serve a young woman in Thailand who is finishing her teaching degree and hoping to return to her own little village to serve her community. I get to dry my dishes with a towel made by a woman in Kenya and wear gorgeous earrings handmade by a woman in northern Japan. I don’t know these women, but because I know Rosie, who connected me with the young student, and I know Ikuyo, who brought the towel from Kenya to my church in Tokyo, and I know Sue who started the art therapy organization in Ishinomaki Japan, I get to be a tiny sliver of these women’s lives. And my life is ever so much richer because of I’m woven into this tapestry.

Do you see it? Because you know us, you have a connection to the tapestry at work in this city. We invite you to partner with us, to weave your prayers and your resources into our neighborhood, our classroom, our students’ lives, our playgrounds, our kitchen table. Partner means being committed to praying for us, allowing us to keep in touch with you, and possibly supporting us financially.

This REALLY is the only recent picture of the six of us....

By partnering with us, as we partner with Christian Academy, you sit with a struggling missionary kid who wonders if his parents beliefs are worth committing to, and with the proud atheist kid who begins to wonder if there is something to this Christianity thing after all. You play a hand in the hundreds of churches, outreach programs, schools and programs run by missionary parents who entrust their kids to CAJ. You have a seat at our table when we invite in lonely and tired moms, looking for empathy and grace. You walk down the corridors of children’s disability hospitals and make eye contact and smile at every single beautiful human.

We believe God is tugging on more hearts to look toward this corner of Tokyo, to the work He is doing  here. As our partners, you have the opportunity to connect with our school and students, this city, and for those of us who live and work here.

We’ve been incredibly blessed by generous one time gifts, and we’re very grateful that Japan’s welfare system provides some support for our special needs son. We could not meet our immediate daily needs without these one time gifts and without city welfare. But God has called us to commit long-term to this work, so we’re also looking long term and seeking to engage hearts willing to invest in this place. Prayer follows financial investment. We are looking for more financial partners to join with us in our daily work. Specifically, we are looking for 20 more partners to support us at $100 per month.

We know - because we’ve met you and we’ve sat over coffee tables and living room couches - we know that you are the kind of person who cares about lonely, hurting people. If you lived in our neighborhood, yours would be the house with the light always on. You would have a seat at your table, a welcoming classroom, a spare moment in your day to check in with that kid who just looks extra fragile. The beauty of the kingdom of heaven is that each of us is entrusted to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our own tiny neighborhoods. And because we love and trust each other, we also get to be the hands and feet of Jesus in each other’s neighborhoods, with each other’s neighbors and lonely friends.

And finally: What does this mean about how we stay connected with you?

• Instead of this more general monthly newsletter, we will now be sending out a quarterly family newsletter that we mail out and post on social media.
• Partners will receive monthly or more updates, a more personalized version of what we've been doing here, plus face to face/screen to screen connections as often as we can!
• At the encouragement of various advisors and Christian Academy in Japan, we’re making a change to our sponsoring organization. Previously, we used Japan Christian Academy Association, an offset of Christian Academy, to process donations. From this year, we’re joining a new organization, Resourcing Christian Schools International. RCE Int’l is set up specifically to help international Christian school teachers ministering overseas, and offers an array of resources including counseling, financial and retirement planning, home assignment support, and international living that we have already found to be so helpful and beneficial.

Will you join us? If you would like to opt in to our partner community, please reply to this email or click on the link below. We know each of you is incredibly committed to your own communities and everyone feels stretched thin. Please know that your reply will not change our relationship and we love you no matter what!

I’m in! Tell me more.

I’m ok for now; see you on Facebook in a few months!

Please don’t contact this email address again, thanks.

Delicious December

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 

from our crowd to yours!

"Start from where you are, with what you have, as who you are in this moment." 

Noah Pashapa (visiting pastor at Kurume Bible Fellowship)

Where we are. 

What we have. 

Who we are in this moment. 

November News

Confession: we put Christmas decorations up already - there is a chance it happened before American Thanksgiving but I won't confirm that. Even our neighbor boys told me it was too early, but when they left to go home in the dark, they agreed that the lights were beautiful. Japan doesn't do daylight savings; as the days get darker earlier, it feels right to get out all the lights. 

CAJ update: thank you for your prayers for this incredible school. We're thankful for the conversations in and out of class that Ryan is able to have with students. Next weekend is a concert of Nine Lessons and Carols. This is a very popular community event! We pray that those who attend will be blessed by the scripture and incredible truths in the words of the carols. CAJ high school is also facing a change of leadership. Please join us on our knees for the next person to fill this very important position. Did you know CAJ has a facebook page? Take a look!

Community update: Christmas is a great outreach season! Every group we know of has some kind of Christmas party. We're grateful for the many kids and moms who will come to our English Christmas party. Our prayer is that they experience welcoming Grace and Joy despite circumstances. This is something every tired mom needs!! Events (with different groups) are December 3, 4, 15, 18. Thanks so much for thinking of us on these days! 

KBF update: As regular readers know, our local church has lost nearly every individual in a position of leadership in the past three years. Despite the fumbling void this created, we know that God is present and continues to love this family; new people continue to come and programs are full! This month, the congregation invited an interim children's ministry pastor and an interim teaching pastor and we are so grateful for the ministry of these two! Please pray for them as they lead this extremely diverse and lively family. 

Family update: We wrestle with what it means to raise our family in this setting on a daily basis. We see our kids becoming TCKs before our eyes, which is poignantly bittersweet. We know, even at their young ages, they experience the tug and pull of their hearts stretched all over the world. Recently, our four year old talks about bridges all the time: Jesus is a bridge, we are a bridge. Our six year old is processing how to be kind to classmates who don't understand why its mean to say "English speaking people can't play with us right now." Our baby is adjusting to his new leg. Every kid is different and this little guy is definitely on his own path! Right now his challenge is controlling his prosthetic knee and learning to balance upright on his one prosthetic foot and one foot with only one toe. Each heart stretches to meet the daily challenges; sometimes we wear thin with all the pulling.

October Grace

Pottery in the park

One of the biggest stressors in my life these days is the constant weight of being too much. Too loud, too messy, too disorganized, too tall, too foreign, too rude, too casual, too needy and - my goodness - too many children! I’ll readily admit, some of this is just in my head. (My counselor and I are working on it!) Doesn’t every parent feel this some days? 

Biking on the new leg!

But there’s a very real societal pressure (that some of you are all too familiar with - it’s not just Japan!) designed specifically to shame and guilt people into behaving in a way that makes life easier for everyone else. If everyone is quiet, clean, orderly, fun-sized, polite, self-sufficient and simple? Well, everything goes a lot smoother doesn’t it! 

Date lunch!

I find myself gasping for Grace. It’s so easy to buy into the myths behind this too muchness. So we must live Grace for each other. For Ryan, it’s a goal to make sure every kid who comes through the door of his classroom feels that she or he is an OK person, worth listening to and spending time with. Grace of humanity. 

I remember arriving at Minneapolis airport, having flown 13 hours solo with four kids; I apologized in a weepy way for the chaos of my exhausted kids, and the woman organizing the security line said, “it’s OK honey, I’ve got five myself.” Grace. How can I - in the way I smile at those standing in grocery lines with me, in the way I greet other moms picking up our kids from school, in the way I talk with sales clerks and neighbors - how can I make them feel like I felt in that moment? So incredibly understood, and enough; recharged to face another impossible moment. 

This week, the mothers of my younger daughter’s class got together for lunch. This is about 45 women, plus at least 30 younger siblings. The room was so loud I could not hear my baby’s annoying musical toys over the chatter. A sign in the ladies restroom gave me pause. Roughly translated: “kids are masters of messiness. We were the same way when we were young. Please leave it to us to clean up after you and enjoy a relaxing slow meal.” Grace. 

To Mama

Set in September

This week I sat across the table from a sweet friend; for those of you who have been with us for a while, she’s a familiar character. We reflected together on the past two years in our respective families. Two years ago, her estranged husband wouldn’t even call her by name. Two years ago, we were heading into an extremely challenging pregnancy and an even more difficult parenting assignment. As we laughed and cried, we realized: God does answer all prayers, but rarely in the way we expect. She prayed for a return to the happy past, before the fight, and instead got a new, braver, rawer relationship. We prayed for financial stability and instead got a child who brought us into a social welfare network. 

These days, we find ourselves reflecting on the past and looking ahead with gratitude: one year ago, our baby came home from the ICU. Today, he is chirping with excitement as he crawls to tip over the recycling bin. One year ago, our pastor suddenly quit with one week’s notice. Now, we are still in a pastoral search, but our worship is full, and we have a rotation of speakers, and our kids program regularly has upward of 40 kids in bilingual classes. Last year, Ryan decided once again to postpone his next masters class in order to take care of the urgent needs of our family. This month, he completed his program and is waiting for his diploma. 

Such reflection of course points us to gratitude. We are grateful for God’s ongoing provision for us, and for the concrete ways in which you, our cloud of witnesses, live as the hands and feet of Jesus in our daily lives. Thank you for walking with us. 

Coming up: 

- CAJ high school students leave for School Without Walls this week, spreading out all over Japan to practice transferring their classroom knowledge to hands on experiences. Please pray for safety and rich learning experiences. 

- Our church will go on a one day retreat in October. Please pray for fellowship and unity as we enjoy spending time as a body and get to know each other better. 

Because of some accounting issues during a change of leadership in our fund raising organization, we are in a very tight financial season. Please pray for wisdom and discretion in our daily finances as we steward our resources and plan for the future. 

- Because of our son’s disabilities, we’ve begun to meet other families with children with various disabilities, mostly in the hours we spend in hospital waiting rooms. We are very aware of the loneliness and social isolation that often comes with a disability, and we’re also so impressed to find friends who are living out their abilities and disabilities with joy. Please pray for us as we engage with this new community. 

August heat!

We give thanks for a full and lively summer! The kids and I (Nelle) were able to connect our kids with many of their cousins, help them re-connect with their American roots, and spend some time away from home at a cottage by the ocean (also with cousins and grandparents).

 Ryan had a much different summer with an intensive advanced Japanese language course, but we expect (results pending!) this will finish off his masters degree and he will be able to move on to other studies and priorities in the fall! He’s grateful to have the coursework finished and looks forward to seeing how it improves and assists our life in Tokyo and at Christian Academy.

Christian Academy is in its first full week of school, and our Japanese schools start up the week after. We’re thankful for full classrooms, happy kids and equipped, qualified staff.

Our community: as the calendar shifts from summer homework and park outings to English classes, school trips and work commitments, we stretch thin. We're excited to re-engage with our Tokyo church and school community, and with all of our various neighborhood connections. Please pray for strength and wisdom as we begin the fall season. 

Our family: please pray for our family in this next season, as we continue to seek wisdom as parents of Third Culture Kids. We want our kids to stay connected to their American roots and family, while also being very comfortable and at home in our Tokyo life. Please pray for balance in their bilingual, bicultural education and all of the daily juggling that demands. Please pray for their hearts and minds as they learn to bridge and stretch between their worlds.

Our baby: our littlest turns 1 this week! He has an extremely rare, unnamed physical disability that we don’t fully understand. He will always need technology to live a normal life. We’re grateful that we are in a country with an in-tact medical system and with access to good technology. Now that he’s one year old, we have a month full of tests, new stages and new benchmarks. Specifically, he will likely get between two and four prosthetics, ear drainage tubes and/or hearing aids and a kidney exam in the next few months. Please pray.

x

Oh my, July!

You know it's going to go fast, but it's worth the blur.

July starts with a star-wishing festival, which is also the birthday of my neighbor's grandson who died of brain cancer two years ago. The country as a whole makes wishes for the future, and looks forward to good to come. Please pray for lasting and true hope for these dear people. 

While the kids just started their summer, Ryan is closing in on the end, with a couple more weeks to go. So glad we got to see so many of you, even if only for a quick hug. I think my mother counted 31 additional guests on our first day on Lookout Mountain through the always-open door (no really, there isn't a key for that door).

The kids and I spent a few days catching up with Lookout Mountain friends and cousins, and I got the opportunity to give a greeting and thank you in person to our home sending church community, as well as the wonderful prayer group on Monday morning. Truly, you are our lifeline, and our cloud of witnesses. 

On to Knoxville for a cousin's wedding with so many beloveds. This is holy ground, and our little taste of heaven, right there on that green hotel carpeting. We gathered our people to pray for our littlest, and introduce him to his crazy, wonderful family. We're not a perfect group, and we've all had our tears and challenges, but we love each other fiercely, and that's a mercy and a wonder. 

Back to Tokyo for the last three days of Japanese school, turning in homework from our trip and collecting our summer homework pile. Math, Japanese writing, pictures, tending tomato and green pepper plants. 

Now, the kids and I head out of Tokyo, which is experiencing a record heat wave, with many deaths and hospitalizations, and we will spend a few weeks near Sendai, where Ryan and I got married. Ryan will continue his studies this summer, and hopefully join us for a weekend or two. 

We are so grateful for your prayers. We truly could not be here without you. Thank you, thank you.