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| Pottery in the park |
One of the biggest stressors in my life these days is the constant weight of being too much. Too loud, too messy, too disorganized, too tall, too foreign, too rude, too casual, too needy and - my goodness - too many children! I’ll readily admit, some of this is just in my head. (My counselor and I are working on it!) Doesn’t every parent feel this some days?
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| Biking on the new leg! |
But there’s a very real societal pressure (that some of you are all too familiar with - it’s not just Japan!) designed specifically to shame and guilt people into behaving in a way that makes life easier for everyone else. If everyone is quiet, clean, orderly, fun-sized, polite, self-sufficient and simple? Well, everything goes a lot smoother doesn’t it!
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| Date lunch! |
I find myself gasping for Grace. It’s so easy to buy into the myths behind this too muchness. So we must live Grace for each other. For Ryan, it’s a goal to make sure every kid who comes through the door of his classroom feels that she or he is an OK person, worth listening to and spending time with. Grace of humanity.
I remember arriving at Minneapolis airport, having flown 13 hours solo with four kids; I apologized in a weepy way for the chaos of my exhausted kids, and the woman organizing the security line said, “it’s OK honey, I’ve got five myself.” Grace. How can I - in the way I smile at those standing in grocery lines with me, in the way I greet other moms picking up our kids from school, in the way I talk with sales clerks and neighbors - how can I make them feel like I felt in that moment? So incredibly understood, and enough; recharged to face another impossible moment.
This week, the mothers of my younger daughter’s class got together for lunch. This is about 45 women, plus at least 30 younger siblings. The room was so loud I could not hear my baby’s annoying musical toys over the chatter. A sign in the ladies restroom gave me pause. Roughly translated: “kids are masters of messiness. We were the same way when we were young. Please leave it to us to clean up after you and enjoy a relaxing slow meal.” Grace.
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| To Mama |
